


Withering Away

by Fuckedupbabe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anorexia, Anorexia Nervosa, ED - Freeform, Eating Disorder, ana - Freeform, trigger warning, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-10 01:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5563693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuckedupbabe/pseuds/Fuckedupbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Request: Imagine becoming anorexic after you start hunting, and the boys (TFW) finally realize you need help after you pass out during a case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Withering Away

As a hunter, you’ve always assumed that you would die by one of the monsters that outwitted you while Sam and Dean were away. You’ve always assumed that you would die because you slipped up and caused a demon to gain some sort of advantage over you. You’ve always assumed that, as long as Sam and Dean were there, you would always get to safety with the boys help. But that was proven wrong when a Crocotta lured you in with Sam’s voice and attacked you, leaving you on the floor with a painful hole in your neck. As the creature slowly sucked the life out of you, Dean came to your rescue, killing it and applying pressure to your wound. He tried lifting you, but to no avail. He called Sam over, telling him to help lift you and get you back to the Impala so that they could stitch you up. For a moment, you believed that you were going to bleed dry just because you were too heavy to carry to the car. Eventually, the two managed to lift you.

You were fine soon after that, besides the fact that you lost a lot of blood and your neck was sore. But the boys managed to sew the wound and get you back on your feet again and out to another diner for a greasy, filling meal. Only this time, you didn’t want to eat. You didn’t feel like you should. You tried staying home, but the two brothers insisted, saying that you needed to get something in your system, get your strength back after having such a close call. So you joined them. You ordered a burger with fries, realizing with each bite the exact reason that you were so heavy, realizing with each bite the exact reason that Sam and Dean had such a hard time trying to save your life.

You were never stick-thin, and that had always been an insecurity gnawing at you. You’ve tried countless times to ignore it, to push that little voice in the back of your head completely out of your mind. It never worked, of course, but it was worth a try. Only now that you almost died because of your weight, the voice grew louder, eventually overpowering all other voices, including that of Sam and Dean’s.

You snapped back into reality to a very confused Sam and Dean calling your name and trying to get your attention.

“(y/n),” Dean questioned. “You done? Can we head back to the motel?” You looked down at your plate, noticing a half eaten burger and a few measly fries left. You looked back up at Dean, nodding slightly and rising from the booth. Neither of the two siblings questioned the food left uneaten, and you thought that it was probably better that way.

Within the following days, you slowly decreased your food intake, consuming hardly anything by the sixth day. The brothers only paid attention to your eating habits when you all came together to eat at yet another diner, though not many questions seemed to arise. Eventually, by day eight, you had managed to go through breakfast, lunch, and dinner, ingesting nothing more than a few bottles of water.

Another week had passed, and you had hunted a werewolf, a djinn, a dragon, and a demon or two. The week had been eventful, but not without a few consequences. You had been surviving on a few measly crackers throughout that entire time, and you started feeling faint. You thought nothing of it, not wanting to bring too much attention to your frail, tapering figure. Hoping that you would be okay on your hunt tomorrow morning, you went to bed hungry, yet oddly satisfied.

You awoke the next morning, light headed but also feeling lighter on your feet. Nearly two weeks of water and crackers managed to bring your weight down drastically. You dressed and headed out with the boys to take on the vampire nest wreaking havoc on the next town over.

The nest was full. There must have been at least a dozen vampires ready to fight back. Most of the movement was a giant blur of punches being thrown, blades being swung, and blood being splattered. At one point, it all ceased. There were two vampires left standing and Sam and Dean were both taking them on, leaving you in the corner unable to help. You wanted to pick up the blade and swing it swiftly through the necks of the attackers, but you didn’t have the strength to move. Suddenly, the world began spinning and you found yourself on the ground, Sam and Dean momentarily unaware of your condition.

Sam finally took out the vampire he was up against and went to help his brother, not thinking about why you weren’t there to help. After the last vampire was defeated, they looked at each other relieved before looking for you. Both of them were met with confusion when they saw you on the floor, out cold. They ran over to you and immediately searched for any physical wounds. Your neck, arms, legs, stomach, anything to make sure that you hadn’t been bit.

They took out the possibility of the vampires hurting you, but were soon after considering why it was that you looked so small and unhealthy. While scanning you for injuries they got a good look at how thin you have gotten, how emaciated you truly were. They shared a puzzled look before Sam lifted you in his arms and carried you back to the Impala.

When you awoke a few hours later, your mind was foggy and you still felt very weak. You sat up in your bed and looked around, not remembering going to bed. You looked down and discovered that you were still wearing the clothes that you left with to take out the vampire nest, soon remembering everything that happened. From the vamps, to the two brothers fighting without your help, to blackness and the floor hitting you hard. Hopefully the boys didn’t know why you collapsed.

You walked out of the room and greeted Sam and Dean in the library of the bunker. They both looked up at you, concern etched into their features. You played it off like you were perfectly fine and sat on one of the chairs.

“You wanna tell us what happened out there?” Sam was the first one to speak up.

“What do you mean?” You were hoping that playing it innocent would keep them off of your case.

“What I mean is the fact that we were in the middle of a vamps nest and you just so happened to be laying on the floor unconscious when Dean and I turned around to look for you.”

“Sorry, I haven’t really been sleeping much lately.” You shrugged it off and grabbed one of the books from the shelf. You were looking for any sort of escape from this conversation.

“I don’t believe that, (y/n),” Dean intervened.

“Okay, well I don’t know what to tell you, Dean. Sleep isn’t exactly a peaceful thing once you become a hunter. I figured you two would understand that.”

“Oh we understand,” he continued. “What Sammy and I _don’t_ understand is why you look like you’re just skin and bones.”

“What? Skin and bones?” Your heart began racing, but you were trying to stay calm and avoid giving any hints that they were on to something.

“Yes, (y/n). Skin and bones.” You looked at Sam, trying to remain unaffected by his accusatory tone. “We searched you for injuries after we saw you on the ground. We thought maybe a vamp got to you, hurt you. Only we didn’t find any wounds. We just found a severely mistreated body. So I’ll ask you this again. What’s going on?” Another pause. “We’re not the bad guys (y/n). Just talk to us.”

“Guys, I’m fine, really. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m really not that thin. I’ve just been working on getting more fit.”

“That’s not fit, (y/n). That’s unhealthy.” Dean paused a moment before continuing with a sigh. “You’re not eating. We _know_ you’re not eating. When we saw you earlier today, Sam and I talked. We haven’t seen you eat in weeks. You always take the food back to your room and we just assumed. But you’re not.” You stood there silently, feeling ashamed that you were found out, and ashamed that you were doing something that you knew was wrong. “Can you talk to us? Say something?”

“I’m sorry,” was all you could manage to get out at a whisper.

“Sorry about what?” Sam used a gentle voice, trying to reassure you that it was okay to talk, okay to open up.

You shrugged your shoulders, not entirely ready to speak up about your eating disorder. Dean noticed and continued asking questions, hoping that it would help you out. “Why are you doing this?” You shrugged again. “(y/n), talk to us. Please. What’s going on?”

Your voice was still low and defeated. “I’m fat.”

“You’re what,” Dean questioned. “(y/n), you’re _not_ fat. What on Earth made you think that?”

“I’ve always been. And it almost cost me my life when you guys couldn’t lift me after the Crocotta hunt.”

“I hurt my arm.” You looked up at the older Winchester, confused. “I couldn’t lift you because the Crocotta hurt my arm during the fight. I called Sam over to help me because I was injured.”

“That doesn’t change anything, Dean. I’m still fat.”

“Have you seen yourself,” Sam interjected. “You’re withering away. You’re not fat, and you weren’t before, either. You’re just unhealthy now, and it’s scaring us. We’re worried.” You didn’t respond. “You need to eat. You need to be healthy. Not just because you’re a hunter, but because you’re a human. If you keep this up, there’s going to be nothing left of you, and that scares the hell out of us. Please.”

“I can’t. It’s – it’s not that easy. I’m scared.”

“Of what? Gaining weight,” You nodded. “You _need_ to gain weight right now. You can’t continue on like this. As difficult as it may be, you have to. And Dean and I are going to be there every step of the way; because we care about you. We want to help you.” You were still a little bit unsure. “Please.”

You took another moment to consider. You thought about everything that Sam had said. You thought about everything that Dean had said. You thought about how much you all cared for each other. You thought that as long as they were with you through it all that you could at least put in the effort. They were having this conversation for you and your safety, so you figured it was only fair to try. “Okay.”

The two looked at you slightly relieved, knowing that they had another big task at hand. But they were ready to do whatever it took to ensure that you were back on track again and back to your healthy self.

“Thank you.”


End file.
